Palace to Rubble


The walls had begun to reflect fears

Fears of our estranged cold faces

Was it me?

Or the sleeping pills

That held you close

Night after night after night;

And as the sun started sneaking in

Throwing light upon the darkness that besieged our home.


Why did I wake up early?

To the floor of cigarette ashes

Sitting on the side couch with red eyed vision

Eyes that were pushing too hard to shut;

For nothing

More they could see of;

Rum drenched sheets of meaningless lovemaking


The beasts that lurked within me

Now walk freely all over this bedroom

What’s up

With the noises created by this surrounding silence

Not seductive

Not the one which made us crave for more;

But the noise that makes us look away

From ourselves



Our soulless bodies still walk down the kitchen

Still prepares the coffee and get ready for work

The ceiling just a roof’s darling

Roof that once made us aloof to the world

Now just a roof

That cages our physical bodies until we get liberated


By the indifference the outside world offers



Look at me, talk to me

Let anything spill out of your goddamn mouth

Anything that’s not as illusive and vague

As the needs of our lives have become

Anything conclusive

To the face of this endless façade of oblivion

We carry

To make each other feel worse than the other


Phone’s still ringing

Ringing that made you deaf to the truth

I screamed a thousand times;

The fragrance of jasmine still embraces the garden

Fragrance that smothered you

Of lethality that endless doubts fed you

Why don’t you

Spit on my face anymore?

Is it because you had lost all hope

Or see your reflection on it



We’re still swimming on the same bed

Still fighting

The egos that pull us back to ground

That push us back to shore

There’s nothing that curtains can hide


Or the cold shower can make numb

We lay

As we do facing each other

Was that your love?

Or making of a wind

That pushed our palace to rubble



The walls had begun to reflect fears

Fears of our estranged cold faces

Everything has started to shake and crumble

Hanging pictures, memories

Getting washed away by invading waters

Both of us, staring

As our unscripted fate unravels;

We lost ourselves in each other’s bodies

Only to get bored of the same ole road

And as we try to drift apart from the foundations we built together

Being helpless, we push

Our shaken palace to rubble


Image : Mackenzie Thorpe








Pink Semen


I no longer stand,

Behind the curled up curtains

Covering freckled window panes

Of your deserted establishment;

Your resentment, plays like a song

Melodies that played in my head when you whispered

You grappled, wrestled

Pulling my hair back, holding them tight

Love that once was a fight

Love that let your heat travel through the veins of my heart

The tears have reached their last

There’s no more face left to roll down on

So they fall and vanish


I could walk backwards

Going past the trails of your manhood

Good for that shadow of mine that created your aura

I could live with see-sawing waves of emotions

Sinking further to my devotions

That fired up within me through your demands

My face sunk into the pillow, and

You humping me deep, and deep and deep

Then you lay down on the other end

Of that messed up bed

Sleeping peacefully after trading your inner devils out

How could I ever scream then?

Everything falls flat on your ears, when

My voice isn’t a drug of your arousing escapism

My face isn’t the face

That drags you to a scenic land of uncharted fantasies

It’s just a face, no eyes, no lies

No story to hold your attention through


I would no longer swim across the sea

And see

You vanishing further into oblivion

Let me word myself with the words you spoke

To those bones that danced and never broke

And let me see through those eyes you carried

Where every life is buried

And all you see, stones carrying fancy identities

I’m breathing hard but I’m not against the wall

I’m jumping fast but standing tall

I have learnt to keep well with my own smell

To ride upon the coaster of emotions, on top

To shoot freely with my eyes closed

I’ve freed myself from the force that kept my hands tied up behind my back

My hands are reaching ahead, as I climb and climb through the slack

I’m igniting fire with roaring groans

Extracting ecstasies from those who mourns

My feet are on the floor, I’m standing on the other side of the door

No longer a wine lying on a bed of roses

But the smoke rising up from cigarette ashes


The gospel of your love

The sermons of your life

Dawned upon me through the shadows you casted on me

Everything that set you free

Wires you to a past you thought won’t exist

However it persists

Persist through all the walls of womanhood

Persist through every dead woman within me that once stood

As much as you like to leave the legacy of destruction

Is lesser than the things you carry as realisation

So let the drums roll from my end of the world

Let my people dance and lust the appalling nights

For every memory of fetish and fights

The memories of your face that like a book led my vision travel to the lands I could never imagine


So now that you see me

In your memories or your dreams

Run your trembling hands through my cold face

Embrace reality by constantly pulling my collar,

Shaking me back and forth

Scream through the muted cells of my ears

Try to steal from my eyes some tears

And slowly

Fall on your knees

With your head facing down and your hair covering your decoloured face

And think

As you see me walking by

What kind of man loves like this?


Artwork: Titir Bhattacharya (…/of-stardust-and-our-m…)